Stress is a part of modern life for every one from the day we are conceived to the day we die. Stress is not always bad its your body telling you something either emotionally, physically , mentally and other process within. The inner child remembers everything because of our amazing brain and stores them away. Often when we are not attuned or live a hectic pace of life we miss those cues from the body detection system. let me illustrate this very complex system which will take several books to explain. A friend sends you a letter in the post and is delivered to your home. You arrive home and amongst all your letters which include bills, advertising, and the rest of the family mail. Also on top of that there is mail from previous tenants , reminders from old policies to update or buy a new products. For some reason you think received a years post in one day. That evening you have an important engagement to attend and you are running late. You have several choices about the mail you received today. 1 Probably a common response, I will read that later. 2 Quickly sort through the letters , reading some by scan reading the main points and leaving others. This options could have a number of all conclusions but the point Im making is: The letter from our friend hasn’t been given the time it deserves or even been ignored. The Sad consequences are that your friend has bad news and wanted to explain in detail what’s happened so we don’t come to our wrong conclusion. A couple of days has passed and we still haven’t opened or read the letter with insight. A friend tells us the bad news they have heard about your friend but missed out a few important details. We straight away go in to negative mode with out knowing all the facts. The human body is an amazing piece of engineering which can be well tuned to max its performance. Every body has a lifetime of unique experiences we all react to different triggers in our body.
1 Environment = anything your senses pick up from noise to touch , what you see , hear and taste. The noise could be the tone , volume , intensity, words used , who said them etc. Often we recognise these triggers and react quickly in a fight or flight mode.
2 Perception = We put conclusions together on our previous experiences from the day we were born till latest second or brain has processed information. Often this is done subconsciously because of lighting speed our brain works accessing all data without thinking. Danger lies here because we don’t have the right perspective or insight it is a bias system or schema.
The Secret to noticing your stress triggers is either we become self aware or ask an expert to help you uncover your triggers with you. For example I feared intimacy , still working on it today it is working progress. Tracing it back to my early life as a child my mother had to work full-time to help with the family expenses. At six weeks old my grand parents looked after me while my mother was working all day. Those early days of a new born child usually develops intimacy with its mother which is called attachment theory. I don’t blame anyone but when we investigate our triggers we are prepared to manage our stress more rationally.
Stress is an alert system to help us focus on important factors in our life at that PRESENT time not the past or in the future. To have a calmer life is to understand our inner child needs and the rational needs at the present time. The balancing act of modern day life is a challenge and fact is when other people pass through or stay in our life will effect us,