Did it really happen!

Shock , disbelief, what happened? When is is she or he coming home? These and many questions will follow you the day you lose your partner or a separation. I knew my wife was going to die when, we heard her diagnosis of  terminal cancer on 23rd December 2014. I knew then I had lost her then, it was just a matter of time. It is so vivid in my mind , it feels like it was yesterday we heard the news together. She died  on the 6th August 2017 , I was there holding her hand saying a prayer as her body shut down suddenly and lost her fight against cancer age 45.

Months and years have passed, you still question is she really dead? Even though you have experienced all the trauma, many strange questions float around in your mind. Was I married,? where has she gone? She will come home soon are some of thoughts I had.I believe that you never recover fully from such a tragedy in life despite all the help in the world because it is so unnatural.

The only thing to convince me I was married is by my beautiful children. Thanks to technology we have photos and media to reflect on the past. The important ideas is our memories which will at times cause you much pain. Everybody copes with losing or separation from a partner differently, so never feel ashamed of your feelings.

A good friend who lost her husband the same year as my wife, she decorated her home with photos of her husband everywhere. Me on the other hand couldn’t have any family photos on display because it hurt me too much. This shows that everyone process this difficulty diffferently, do what you feel comfortable with.

I have done this section because there is so many things I have learned along this tragic journey and want help those who no longer have a relationship.I have 4 beautiful children a blessing from my late wife. When she died I became not just a widower at 48 but a single parent of 4 kids. At that time their ages from boy age 10 a girl age 11, a boy age 15 and a girl age 18.