I am started working on a new book which originally was going to be a short story for Christmas but it has to be a novel now. The video will be overview of the story give you a flavour of what to expect. Enjoyed writing my last novel and excited with this new project. I love the renasscience especially the culture and art it inspires me to a different world. of awe. not sure when I finish the book but im sure one day it will be a movie as i can see the adventure in my imagination .
“There is nothing permanent except change.” Heraclitus
The idea that nothing stays the same is a challenge for our brains because of several reasons. Firstly we live in a complex world with too many choices and thinking takes time and energy. The safe option is the easiest choice and if we had a good experience the last time we are primed to make the same selection again. More reasons in the article below of why we love familiarity and why its hard to accept change.
Acceptance can effect the situation in different ways from emotional to physical discomfort and even pain at times. The example I will use highlights just two of many plausible outcomes showing that effort is needed to change. The story of individual who has serious weight problems or you could say clinically obese. What are the two main options?
1: They accepted serous weight issues and continue in the same routine of life and died at a young age with a heart attack or other complications.(Many different Psychologically reasons for denial)
2: They accepted there was a problem with thier present state and took responsibility. Endured the losses of not eating comfort foods. Endured the pain of exercise and discomfort. resulting living to a good old age helping and encouraging the family to be healthy.
The phrase No Pain No Gain is not just a physical concept but a psychological identity for change. To admit responsibility will cause emotional disturbances in the Psyche because conflict of two brain patterns. Depression and anxiety are the body alarm system telling you something is wrong. These symptoms will persist until there is a resolution in the subconscious and conscious . Sadly, society paints the picture of wonder drugs solve all problems but if our thinking is out of alignment the drugs just mask the deeper core issues. At this juncture I don’t recommend dispensation of medication but see if there is undercurrent in your Psyche causing disruption with professional help.
We live in world today that promotes self-indulgence and gratification at all costs. Or in other words: Short term gains rather than long term benefits. I agree if you have terminal illness or ongoing major health problems you cant change your perspective will be different on long term perspective. I remember talking to my wife who was having treatment for her cancer and worrying about her figure. I said “for God’s sake enjoy your occasional treat you can’t do anything else( she wasn’t morbidly obese , steroids effected her shape). Her example of enduring pain is one story of a women due for a sainthood. The pain she suffered to live longer savouring every moment to be with her children and family is truly motivating. I can definitely say by her enduring the cancer treatments she lived an extra 18 months. ( book spoiler, next year by august 6th 2022 i will publish a book in her honour , it will be 5 years since her death, the book is called Compassion Conquers Cancer. The book will assist those who are or had to deal with that life changing ordeal)
The truth of the matter is, how desperate are you to see change in your life. It’s going to Bloody hurt is the real message of change. Ironically, you’re going be miserable if you don’t change either now or in the future. Read stories of heroes and heroines that have been in your situation they have done it and so can you. Jim Carrey’s Said: ‘You Can Fail at What You Don’t Want, So You Might as Well Take a Chance on Doing What You Love’
Focus with No Regrets
Marilyn Monroe said “Fear is stupid. So, are regrets” Why is fear stupid? The brain convinces the individual with fear by a negative emotion. Others jump into fear with excitement. The list of phobias is endless, and majority are irrational. For example, the fear of spiders in the United Kingdom is irrational but some of my grown children have the fear because they learnt it from their mother. Big problem with fear it will distract and stop you focusing on what you want. For example, a small spider often stops my children entering a room driving their focus into flight/fight/freeze response activating the nervous system (HPA). That energy drains the focus of the present time and reinforce the avoidant response in the future. For all you science buffs follow link see the chemistry in your body with the HPA axis system role in stress.
Regrets are linked to opportunities when action was misdirected or not focused. This is a big psychological problem for some when a close family or friend dies. Helpful basic link for anyone grieving but I recommend professional help.
The regrets can burden a person with negative responses. It is accepting the loss and letting go. Easier done than said but change the word Regrets to Restart. Life is about perspective because what we think is our reality. Imagine hitting and shouting at a lovely, cute puppy. The puppy will grow up with negative reactions. Many rescue dogs have been trained in a caring environment reenforcing new positive behaviour. Similar fashion if you feed your brain with negative emotions, you are going feel miserable then in turn will reenforce the cycle of not accepting because the brain can’t see pass the cycle of change. I remember a few years ago when I had therapy he said “You can choose Your Emotions” at the time I was grieving my wife death, it was a hard pill to swallow. Don’t suppress emotions let them flow but don’t indulge in them because self-pity is not self-compassion.
Ready steady go! Remember these words as a child. The excitement of a race, what’s change apart from you being older? Often, it’s the experiences the brain relays to you in your head that makes us feel old. As a child learning to walk you fell over many times, but did you stop walking? Failure or setbacks are lessons that teach us better ways to try again with resilience. Again, it’s the thoughts in your head not the situation as a child. Your determination as a toddler wanted to explore the world and try new things. Release your inner child again and explore the world with curiosity with no judgments. Adults who give up Judge from emotional response, but children have a go. Even children in their development learn very quickly from the environment of criticism to give up. Remember you are an adult and tell those negative voices in your head where to go.
Build and Fortify Your Focus
The change comes from within for lasting change. Remember it’s human to have setbacks on your journey. When you hit a setback refocus on the goal. The objective is on change not time unless you have a specific time frame. (More depth on SMART goals, research the internet or link below and ask advice from a professional).
The tendency for the brain when you hit setbacks is to give up because the brain or the Ego hates uncertainty. This can trigger the fight/flight response. Problem with this mechanism will distract you from the change. For example, you want to change your body through diet and exercise. There will be occasions in life such as illness, holidays, celebrations etc that will cause setbacks. The power of self-esteem can delude you because the ego hates being wrong and it hates losses. The pride of self-esteem can cause havoc if not careful. Low self-esteem can cripple you if you allow it. This section is Build Focus with an ongoing strategy. Imagine you are at the beach, and you build a lovely sandcastle. The tide comes in and washes it away. The example shows that every project may need a new start but that can be soul destroying with the wrong mindset. The beauty of starting or adjusting can enhance your progress because you have developed skills for example you have lost weight through diet and exercise is proof you can change. Learning and adjusting to your own personal requirements is experience you never learn by reading a book or someone advice.
Focus has many definitions, but the idea used by successful athletes is centre of their life. They use their resources both physical, mental, and emotional assets. Imagine you are a captain of an army you need use all these resources to win the battle or defend your position. The army will have casualties, but they don’t surrender on the first losses. They regroup and review the damages and start again.
Flexibility is the key to success. If you can’t bend you will snap or crumble. The biggest illusion for the modern civilisation is the greatest mistake. I can’t underestimate this in the reality of being human. CONTROL is illusion of reality because it’s a miracle that you exist. The trillion of biological mechanisms working in unison to become you the living self. I have known many and I’m sure you know of the stories in history where individuals thought they were invincible. I prefer the phrase Life happens and go with the flow. I’m not suggesting rejecting discipline and strategies to reach your goal. When you hit roadblocks or treading water don’t waste your valuable resources trying to control everything and everyone just accept the situation. There may be a better way or easier way or its not the time to push forward yet. Imagine water finds its natural direction, the trees bend, and the nature accepts the challenges but eventually it bounces back. Think of the humble tree life source is dependent on the resources in nature. It doesn’t grow in straight lines either up or down. The simple truth is life is not always a straight line. If change is needed swallow your ego and be flexible.
If you have a lot of mental blocks and resistance to move forward I recommend book below “Letting Go by David Hawkins available also on audible.
“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” Carl Jung
We all want to be accepted by friends, family, and society but the judgements of others and even ourselves is a bitter pill to swallow. This is very emotive perception for many because their identity can be fixed in stone for many different reasons. I will focus on the primary driver from a personal perspective briefly examining some of the biological reasons why acceptance is hard.
Acceptance is the important catalyst for change in a person’s inner and outer reality.
The brain mechanisms work on a simple premise of reward and aversion. This is connected to our emotional and rational brain.
The rational and emotional brain is being controlled by subconscious patterns of routines. These routines have evolved since our birth of the brain in our mother’s womb. These patterns continue to shape our personality by the choices we have made(brain) and continue to make with the influence of others.
One example a child(brain) is conditioned by the food it has eaten from birth. The different cultures around the world developed the different flavours and taste we have today. If this was just biological and genetic adaptation of eating food every human would have the same taste palette. A significant reason we differ is reflected in our emotional brain that remembers choices or routines of food from a psychological perspective. For example, new food for an adult can be exciting or dangerous. Some reasons are due to childhood experiences of food. In one country a child may have been in a poverty situation where food is scarce. The limited choice and quality and taste of foods will limit the experiences of the brain. The emotional brain from the parents will continue to emphasise the importance of not wasting food because of poverty so the food experience is dictated by an emotional response of waste is dangerous. The rational brain of the parents will encourage or force the child to eat it. Pressure of consuming the food from parents will convince the brain of the importance of eating or food regardless of taste. The brain is conditioned by these experiences in choices it makes from external influence of not wasting food . The experience is not pleasure free but has a negative connection exploring other foods. The brain is also not use to different taste due to lack of experiences The brain seeks approval and reward by eating the food regardless of the taste inhibiting the experience to a present one of choice. This simple illustration shows how the brain patterns of eating is structured by the emotional and rational brain. There is a lot more to the story of every individual case but hopefully you get the idea of acceptance is a challenge for the brain. I have written a book that encompasses the key elements of our brain patterns and the templates we use in every day life exploring in more detail with the different sciences that merge into a simple concept to assimilate. (Pun intended)
Requirements for living
Humans are at the top of universal consciousness on planet earth.There are many different levels of consciousness even in our own species , read more about emotional intelligence by great author below.
The animal kingdom has its different levels of intellectual prowess and consciousness and instinct. The evolution of humanity has adapted to the expanded consciousness built on previous generations of knowledge and experience passed on via genetic variation.
The requirements or needs of today’s civilisation has dramatically changed since millenniums of our ancestors. The simple life of survival has evolved to a complicated state of existence. The consciousness has slowly driven humanity needs to a series of perspectives of wants. For example, the industrial revolution has created machines to propagate the simple age to a modern era of complexity creating a confusing array of choices.
Abraham Maslow said, “If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.” or my words would be “I ain’t happy with this situation ( cant accept it) but I am going to moan about to the rest of the world till the day I die”. His review of modern consciousness of humanity needs or requirements stripped back the shackles of commercial, religious, and governmental ideologies.
Further investigation of Maslow work read the excellent work of Scott Barry Kaufman who is a cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist.
The 3 major categories I have simplified
1: Basic needs = Keep the human alive
2: Psychological needs = Emotional
3: Consciousness needs = Spiritual and intellectual
The fundamental structure of Maslow hierarchy of needs cover areas that are neglected because of not having acceptance with the denial mindset in our subconscious patterns.
Denial of Responsibility or Accept the reality
The common projection of denial is blame others and take a lack of responsibility of our actions. Easy blame our childhood experiences or boss etc for the reality of the present moment. Problem with lack of ownership, you will not change your circumstances. Basically, it’s all in your head or mindsets. For example, the overweight fat child says I was bullied at school and my only friend was food. The poor husband who says I can’t get a good paying job because I’m not educated. The list can go on and on to justify our situation for not acting blaming or pushing the responsibility away. The past has gone, and we can have the opportunity to learn or burn from the past. (The brain hates accepting major core beliefs that need adjusting) Being present now and admitting failure will hurt in many different psychological ways. The rational and emotional brain will have a wrestling match to make sense of the stories we tell ourselves.
Reflecting on the loss is the start of acceptance: What lessons did I learn about MYSELF? The alternative is to burn in self-pity that leads to more losses of self-worth. Exploring the negative emotions can be used as a catalyst of action. FEEL THE PAIN (use that energy for change) remember it is our responsibility to take hold of acceptance. Failure to feel these negative consequences will help to make different choices.
The brain can be your friend or enemy it depends on how you train the Ego. The Ego hates admitting mistakes and the normal reaction is to justify its actions to empower the ego. This is complexed mechanism pinned by a lifetime of experiences creating present reality. The core beliefs, motivations, emotional regulation, and much more is You in your present form.
Let me explain if you had a factory that built cars and it was successful for many years. But now it is not a viable option what would you do? The years of investment includes emotional, Psychological and Physical resources will seem like impossible feat for the Ego because that all it knows. Similarly, the lifetime of behaviour patterns is very hard to change because the brain has invested so many resources into being the present You. Walking away will seem impossible for many. Changing your mindset and taking responsibility and accepting the huge losses and start again is helping you starting a new chapter. (Part 1)
DO YOU WANT MOTIVATION , VISiT MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL FOR FREE INSPIRATIONAL VIDEOS
I’m working on my new project with compassion. I have ideas in my head and done few creative ideas for your personal experience to explore your own concepts of compassion with the use of pictures. We develop concepts with pictures first , enough the pictures and reflect on what it means for you,