Being Mum & Dad Video

On August 6th 2017 My Dear wife died at the young age of 45 years old leaving me with 4 children under 17 to look after. I have learned many resilience strategies as a father and taking on the role of being their mother. About quarter of all UK families have the challenge of raising children as a single parent. The short video is focusing on Single parents to be super Hero’s as a new identity to embrace the challenge. The irony in my person histories is my late wife Instagram name was Katesuperwoman and she defiantly was a superhero fighting cancer and looking after the children during her disease. I am eternally grateful for her superhero attitude and determination with bravery who never moaned about her plight despite the tremendous agony she suffered. I have mentioned her in my Law of Attraction book for more information iff interested. One day I will write a book for single parents because often they are thrown into the deep end wondering where and how to start.

Quantum Consciousness – Personal Consciousness – Collective Consciousness (Part one)

“Either death is a state of nothingness and utter consciousness, or, as men say, there is a change and migration of the soul from this world to another. Now if death be of such a nature, I say that to die is to gain; for eternity is then only a single night.” ~ Plato

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~ Carl Jung

“The evolutionary impulse is towards disidentification from thinking and the arising of awareness or presence, but the gravitational pull of the old consciousness, or rather unconsciousness, is still quite heavy. It’s been around for thousands of years.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

“Consciousness creates our realty but what came first? Realty or Consciousness? Consciousness knows the answer, but realty will question it” Steve Hyne

Consciousness definition from the second edition (1989): Oxford English Dictionary

1.Joint or mutual knowledge.

2. (Also in early use, consciousness to oneself.) Internal knowledge or conviction; knowledge as to which one has the testimony within oneself; esp. of one’s own innocence, guilt, deficiencies, etc.

3.The State or fact of being mentally conscious or aware of anything.

4. The State or faculty of being conscious, as a condition and concomitant of all thought, feeling, and volition; ‘the recognition by the thinking subject of its own acts or affections’

The dictionary further explains consciousness in other aspects relating to human perception. The sheer array of peripheral knowledge will fill volumes of research from scientific , philosophical, religious and cultural resources that will blow the mind (pun intended). The objective of a person’s reality comes from their own  consciousness, and it has limiting meanings from their knowledge , beliefs and experience are just few variables of a person interpretations. 

You could say my own personal consciousness is like monster who wants to devour the knowledge of everything. It wants to explain why, where how etc. Through my limited knowledge and experience, probably confuse many readers. What drugs is he on you may say, hence I have not taken that route to experience consciousness at that level. I am aware of my ego is driving my thirst for knowledge, but I have the opportunity and fascination of a child who questions everything. On that point of the Ego Carl Jung says, the Ego is the centre of consciousness but that is for another discussion. What I am saying in simple terms : This is my perspective and like any scientific model it may be in fashion today ( probably sound crazy to some individuals) and tomorrow it be outdated and absurd, but that’s not important for me. Expression of ideas causes the expansion of global consciousness in a positive way towards evolution of it.

As a fan of Quantum , the nerd in me likes to go beyond the obvious and like a child, the imagination of my mind (Personal consciousness is in awe ). Quantum entanglement defies the rational mind of correlation on a purely obvious perspective, which I love. For example, electrons can influence other electrons in quantum entanglement. The Paradox, electrons in  realty it can travel faster than the speed of light. Also, the observer can either influence the result of the two electrons. The Point of Quantum we still don’t fully understand how it works and why it breaks all conventional rules of science.

Many Eastern religions don’t identify with the concept of a lot of western religious traditions of a separate consciousness called God. Chinese philosophy is one of my passions, it has the idea that everything is connected. For example, reading Dao De Ching the first chapter says

“The Dao that can be spoken is not the eternal Dao. 

The name that can be named is not the eternal name.

Nameless, the beginning of heaven and earth. 

Named ,the mother of ten thousand things.”

It is very difficult to translate the original message to English because Chinese words or symbols are like the Arabic language a word or symbol can mean at least 4 different ideas. The expression Heaven and earth  means everything NOT TWO SEPARATE IDEAS. Very often way the earlier eastern philosophers or sages used contrast to make the complete picture or idea universal for example yin and yang means the complete of the whole. It is very different concept from western philosophy of dualism of separateness and individualism. For example, of monotheist deity breeds idea of them and us of dualism. These concepts in Buddhism , Hinduism and other eastern religions say God consciousness is everywhere manifested in millions of worlds as deities etc. Reading a martial art book recently based in china and the story was embellishing concept of consciousness in everything , for example rocks, plants , frogs all talking to the Chinese warrior. 

I believe that consciousness is not abstract realty constructed in the brain. I agree the brain is the tool to connected to consciousness. Consciousness is like the God equation where science and some religions tries to put the notion of God in a human box. That is absurd because the arguments that a greater force cannot be defined in human terms is irrational. Imagine the ant saying Australia doesn’t exist because it can’t measure or observe it. The ant lives in Iceland for example so how could it travel to Australia without knowledge or the means. The ant brain has been conditioned to survive in Iceland as its perspective. This illustrates scientific perspective is limited to the 5 senses and its present environment of binary thinking cause and effect. Rational mind is often hijacked by emotional perspectives based on unconscious biases. The ant mind could never discover Australia and explain all its diversity because of its limited form and mind with its instincts. Our reality of consciousness is from our port hole as tiny ant in the cosmos. Albert Einstein said “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” Consciousness in my perspective is a multi-dimensional force that transcends everything we are in. The matrix is an amazing force moving continually throughout the universe.

Recently on my quest for greater understanding of many aspects of life I had interesting conversation with a scholar (a mentor) of many different fields. Learning ideas is like a jigsaw piecing the different shapes of the picture in my mind to have a new view. All knowledge must interrelate like a Jigsaw to see the depth, width, and detail of the whole. (KNOWLEDGE ISN’T JUST ACADEMIC BUT LIFE EXPERIENCE is also important to assimilate it). The concept of soul, spirit and after life has its origins in many cultures. This scholar has many degrees including anthropology. He said the soul from a biblical reference (explained the language of original Hebrew and Aramaic in biblical texts. He can read other languages including Arabic etc). The idea of the soul isn’t in the earlier biblical cannon it is a Greek concept from mythology added later especially in the Septuagint version. The original word used is spirit that basically means life force. In Chinese tradition, Indian tradition and other religions have simular idea. This spirit for me is consciousness in simplistic terms.Sacred texts used the word for the Hebrews, Chinese, Native Indians, and others to understand concept. The mechanism of life force as consciousness is also rooted in Hinduism. They believe as I have read in the Bhagavad Gita the Atman (spirit) is eternal. Connection of religious ideologies as the reference of breath as spirit. Even the Quran mentions Jesus was a spirit from Gods breathe.

Exploring breath from biological perspective is mind blowing. I remember learning a little about this about 15 years ago when I did A Level science in biology another passion of mine is the human body. I will simplify the complicated process but if you doubt an external force this might wake your conscousnes to another level. The body needs energy to survive, or it will die. From a cellular point of view every piece of the body is made of cells. (Quantum energy is another deeper level). The fuel or synthesis(production) of each cell is constructed by ATP. The construction of ATP has at least 17 different biological interactions to turn the raw materials into useable energy for the cell. One of the basic raw materials is Oxygen to build ATP collected from the respiration cycle or Breath. Even Carbon dioxide as a by product is not wasted it too can be recycled to make ATP. The science shows clearly that breath is intrinsic to life or consciousness. The average human body contains approximately 37.2 trillion cells. Now do the maths of producing energy in a homeostasis environment just from a cellular starting point. It makes the mind boggle even to comprehend existence of internal conscousnes in binary equation. The conclusion I come to : All consciousness is orchestrated by the universal consciousness of a higher source, but we can override it if we choose. For example, we can consciously stop breathing and the human body will cease to function.

In conclusion does it really matter about the essence of life? From the pages of history religion has tried to facilitate the unending questions of existence. Philosophy has peered into the great minds, but the Ego has dominated its quest. Science has ventured out to the hidden depths of uncertainty and models of perception are remodelled through history. Psychology has empowered society on how to think and why, but illusions still persist in the minds of many.  

For a final question to reflect on especially if you do can some meditation or quiet reflection: Consciousness creates our realty but what came first? Realty or Consciousness? Consciousness knows the answer, but realty will question it” Steve Hyne

Enter The Darkness to Find Light

Enter The Darkness Find Light

What you see is not the picture of the world

What you hear is not the sound of truth

What you taste is not the delight of kings and queens

What you smell is not the sweet fragrance of life

What you touch is not the spirit of essence

Enter the darkness and forget the past

Shut the door of tomorrow pleas

Welcome this second before the clocks stop

The only truth you know is not true

The lies and deceptions of the mind cause you sorrow

Enter the darkness to find the light

The world of yesterday is just a dream

The fantasy of tomorrow is another story

The book of life has new stories to be told

The sacred texts reveal only the beginning of the end

Knowledge of you is the profound truth

The secret of light comes from within

Open your eyes to see the truth of life

Listen to the wisdom and silence of nature

Taste the sweet taste of vitality

Smell the fragrance of beauty you have

Touch the desire of the present truth

Enter the darkness to find the light within

You are perfect and have no sin

The love and comfort wraps around your soul

Wake up to reality of passion and love

Because the light of truth is you


Inspired to write this after a meditation. The practice quiets the mind to unravel the web of confusion in daily life. The mind or ego works effortlessly to complicate life that can lead to added stress. The beauty of regular meditation grounds the present reality. We like to think or the ego believes it is in total control but that is an illusion. Life is wonderful gift with experiences that shapes our perceptions but isn’t the complete picture of reality. Thanks goes to the continuation of life not just in ourselves but to the whole cosmos.

Shadow Psychology

We all want to present the best versions of ourselves to the world but because of many different reasons we are not alway preseting the true self. Shadow work instigated by Carl Jung highlights we can all change from within.

The portrait

I am resurrecting some of my old work from 30 years ago that I haven’t published. This is just first two chapters of a short story, I hope you will all enjoy. As a writer i see and hear all the characters in my imagination like a film producer hopefully the reader can have a feel for it.

Chapter one 

An old eccentric gentleman laid on his deathbed, ordering his maid to fetch Mr Lawson. He slowly sat upright on his four posted bed, gazing his eyes at the magnificent oil paintings from all over the world in his bedroom. He could hear a knock at the door downstairs. The footsteps became louder and louder as they came neared to Mr Hamilton’s bedroom. There was a gentle knock on his bedroom door.

“Enter,” cried out the cantankerous silver fox with an anxious look on his face.

“At last, my young fellow, where have you been? Don’t you know I will not be around much longer?”

“Well, Sir I’m extremely busy with a commission, I have a date to complete it by, or I don’t get paid. Every spare moment I’m working Mr Hamilton,”

The old man sighed and shook his head in disbelief.

“Well, I’m asking for a last favour before I go. You are one of the best artists I know. I will reward you with a large sum of money and through my art collection you will receive recognition from many sophisticated gentlemen. They will give you an income and commissions. I have this one obsession in my life with paintings, especially unusual ones. I want you to paint a portrait of me.”

“I am honoured and grateful for such a privilege when should I start?” Mr Lawson replied in a young, enthusiastic tone.  

“I want you to do a sketch of me now and start the painting after I have died.”

Mr Lawson pulled his chair next to the bed of the idiosyncratic disintegrating man. He sketched the dying frail man. He had a large round head with a puffed-up face, with grey straggling hair receding from his brow. He resembled the countenance of an old bishop with his white silk bedclothes covered by a red silk dressing gown wrapped around him. 

The young artist finished the sketch of Mr Hamilton in. It reminded him of the artist Rembrandt. Mr Hamilton, in between his gasping breaths, said “I will pay you £500 now and you will receive the rest when you finish the portrait”. Mr Hamilton closed his eyes and died peacefully, knowing that his last wishes were being fulfilled.

His only son William and his family attended the funeral of Mr Hamilton with a few distant friends and acquaintances. After the service, the family gathered for the wake of Mr Hamilton drinking potent cocktails with homemade cakes prepared by the estate cook. Mr Hamilton, grandchildren running around the large house, interrupting the Solemn atmosphere. Jack and Sarah didn’t understand the death of their grandfather because he was always busy with his own life here and there buying and selling paintings. The children just loved the large house with many winding corridors and hidden rooms. You could hear the echoes of the children as they spent their energy in pursuit of hiding from each other.

There a few many tears because Mr Hamilton was not a gentle or jolly man. The only occasions he was in a good mood were by the influence of alcohol after a purchase or sale of a painting. The Butler rang a large hand rang bell to break up the chitchat of all the guest.

The butler said in an eloquent and funereal voice

“Mr Barlow has arrived, and he is waiting in the study, please make your way to the room please”.

William called his wife Catherine together with his children, Jack and Sarah.

“We have some important news, so please behave and respect your grandfather as we listen to his instructions he has left.”

Everyone in the room stared at Mr Barlow anxiously in anticipation for him to start.

“Is everybody here, the servants, the family and friends?”

Mr Barlow put his briefcase on the table and carefully gathered the documents, carefully attaining to the late Mr Hamilton estate and possessions. He looked up with a smile and spoke.

“Please excuse all the unnecessary formalities and I will get straight to the point for brevity. William Hamilton is the sole benefactor it includes all the estate and all the possessions within. There will be no need to worry about servants, as you will continue in your relative position. There is one final clause. When young Sarah Hamilton comes of age, she is the sole owner of the estate paintings BUT must remain in the perspective places in the estate.

Chapter Two

From Paper to Canvas

Mr Barlow spoke privately with Mr Lawson, the young artist who came to pay his respects to the family and the late Mr Hamilton. The family barrister handed James a letter from the deceased Mr Hamilton. The letter read in part “When you completed the portrait, I will pay you the sum of £5000 “Mr Lawson quickly scan through the rest of the letter.

“I can’t do that” with this shock all over his face. 

“Do you want the money” replied Mr Barlow angrily?

“Oh yes, but how can I do that without being confronted by the police or offending the family?”

“Leave it to me, Mr Lawson, I’ll be at the crematorium later, and I will see you later tonight”.

That evening, young James worried about the whole situation and the problems it could cause him. You could hear footsteps coming up towards the attic, towards his studio. The sharp, clear, precise footsteps slowly walked along the final hallway. Bang Bang.

“Who is it?” The frightened artist said frantically.

“It’s Mr Barlow” he replied softly.

“Come in. I have been contemplating what Mr Hamilton wanted me to do. I’m not doing it regardless of the money.”

“Oh, you must, because you said yes to Mr Hamilton before he died to do the job. I have a sketch to prove it.”

“I know that, but I never knew about him actually being in the portrait,” confess the worried artist.

“You know that Mr Hamilton liked unusual paintings, and no one else would know. Just think about the £5000 pounds. It would give you a good start to your artistic career. You could develop as an artist and concentrate on your art without worrying about selling your painting like Van Gogh.”

The young artist loved painting because it was his gift to the world and filled his soul with peace and inspiration. 

He then said in an anxious and trembling voice,

“I hope you have the ashes so I can start straight away before I change my mind.”

“Don’t worry, everything will turn out fine and nobody will have to know about it apart from me, you and the late Mr Hamilton.” 

Mr Barlow laughed as he walked out of the door. The Young artist couldn’t sleep all night with some ashes of Mr Hamilton left in his studio.

The next morning, after a restless night, James awoke from his nightmare to a bright day. The morning sun shining rays through the studio, giving the atmosphere a warm glow. Before he started his day, he always had a cup of coffee and pondered on how to accomplish this new weird task. He knew the larger the portrait, the easier it would be to mix the human ashes with paints together, so he did a life-size portrait.

James mixed small quantities of Mr Hamilton with few pigments. He experimented and concluded; greater the quantity of oils would help dissolve the two components with better results. He did a sketch on the canvas and started with Mr Hamilton’s eyes. The artist brush came alive as it stoked the canvas, James could feel Mr Hamilton words and whispers flow his arm into the paint brush. The echoes of the capricious egomaniac ashes knew where to go on the painting. James could hear instructions from a grand master watching over his shoulder. James turned around, and no one was there. Then he heard another voice, “Come on you fool, you need to finish this painting”. He thought he was going mad and deep down he knew it was the spirit of Mr Hamilton in his presence. When James left the studio, the voices would stop, and he could refresh his soul from the assertive old man.

The portrait was now resembling the features of the old man’s skin of a rugged landscape with a history of war and peace. The size of the portrait height of 6 feet and by the width of two feet. The young artists had a busy schedule to complete several. James declined new commissions and other activities. He wanted finished Mr Hamilton to stop the anguish of relentless voices in his studio. The old man would continue to haunt him, and resolved to finish it. The portrait had a suspicious glow around the eyes as if we’re starring back at you. The portrait was alive with encounters, wrapping his tentacles through the inner being of a person’s soul. James knew this was a supernatural, paranormal painting, and he understood the experience because of the portrait had traces of Mr Hamilton’s soul in the oils mixed with his metaphysical ashes.

Mr Barlow came to studio after 18 months of hard magical and ghostly experiences for the young artist.

“I swear I saw his eyes move then,” said Mr Barlow as he entered the dark room that evening.

“You must have of had to drink,” said James. He didn’t want to confess all of his uncanny experiences because he just wanted to get rid of the portrait and have his £5000. 

“it’s fabulous, my good man I’ll collect it tomorrow afternoon. What did you say, James?”


Mr Barlow thought he heard a voice, and it reminded him of Mr Hamilton, but he dismissed it.

James said with a sigh, “I’ll be glad to see the back of it “

The Story of Black and White (Consciousness)

Impossible to define consciousness and how it stared etc.Also Impossible to define other realties so I have created a video in simplistic terms taking ingredients from different cultures to explain existence ( Consciousness ). To explain the infinite from a limited finite perspective(as human) has many limitations. Like any Sufi story or parable there is several layers to the story. For example Black in Arabic has the ancient tradition of meaning wise hence I used black as allegory for infinite being all wise rather than white. The brain uses physical senses to define things and black is necessary to see things with the eyes and also true with white.For example you need black night to see the stars. The warped translation of perception in our modern era for a few is black and white thinking or binary thinking and this is how the physical universe operates according to the human senses and science as we perceive it so far. Add another dimension of colour will help see the variety of options outside preconceived bias. Hope you enjoy the video and love is only true realty throughout the universe because life wouldn’t exist as we know it.