Life comes and go like water that follows the path of least resistance. I thought it was time to expose the real me to the world. Since the death of my wife I have been reborn and cut lose from the death trap of modern living.
This post I want to be congruent and be the authentic me for two reasons . Firstly cut away all the facade of who I am endeavouring to be but show real life of a widower and hopefully touch others. The second reason is to inspire others to feel the life there are living now even if it’s not perfect.
As a therapist, the biggest problem is not the circumstances of people’s lives but not being present to life now. The Denial of feelings and not accepting what’s happening or happened.
I going to be open now and give a brief review of my present life. There are times when I have said Fucked God , fucked the world etc. In the present of others especially family , I was more concerned about their feelings and not sharing mine. Then there are other times Wow I’m intoxicated with being alive , nature just blows me away. Acceptance of how we feel makes us alive not dead. There is no such thing as negative feelings, if shit happens , you will feel like shit. Go with the flow and never judge how you feel that is part of the growing process.
Sex, sex , sex, it’s not a dirty word but who talks about the needs of the single person who had it in the past. Since my wife having cancer and dying, sex went out of the window. I know it’s not the be all and end all . Now I have empathy for all those failed relationships where the person needs were met in past relationships. And through no fault of their own they are back on the market again.
I have read so many books from the science and psychology of dating. Being a 50+ with two kids at home is a game changer. I tried so many dating apps , honestly say not worked for me. Feels like swipe the picture and you say like them , send a message and no reply it’s totally weird. Anyway If I was 25 it would be a piece of cake. I understand the psychology of relationships that have failed, I am saying don’t live in the past embrace now and the future potential.
Last week I was so freaked out by incident I nearly lost everything I worked for just because my inner child wanted to run away. Again I encourage you to be courageous and embrace the fear even if it scars the shit out of you. The core beliefs and patterns we carry dictate our choices. Even a therapist have struggles at times that confront the unfamiliar.
In conclusion if your not 75 yet don’t die or give up regarding any of the crap you encounter. Because if you do you have killed your inner soul who loves you so much and has got you were you are today.