Have you ever said I’m ok but below the mask of deception you had a completely different feeling. It could be for a million reasons why we hide our emotional self to others. Whatever the reason question why?
Often we have learned our cues in society on how we ought to respond or express or often suppress our true inner states. At times it is judicious to act in a discreet manner. For example the boss or an officer could be acting in a demonstrative way pushing all our internal buttons. The problem of others emotional states could jump onto our emotional states and before we are aware of it we suppress super charged emotions or let them explode on to a innocent victim.
Embrace the emotions as information from internal states. It is also information from others internal states of emotion which is called empathy. The skill of self awareness is vital for sustainable relationships firstly with ourself then secondly with others.
Avoiding or dismaying emotions that are uncomfortable can lead to emotional burnout or exhaustion. More importantly it gives us vital information about ourselves and others emotional states. By recognising our emotional states and correctly labelling them with lead to personal growth. We don’t always know why we feel a certain way , understand what emotions they are. By embracing the emotions and accepting it for what it is could be useful. In the future as we reflect we might be able to discover what lead up to or the underlying reason why we felt the emotions at a particular time.
Here is a personal example on how to embrace emotions. Yesterday I was feeling sad all day , I wasn’t sure why? Reflecting at the end of the day I reminded a quick phone call from my mother who said that my two sisters anniversaries due in the next week. I said off the top of my head , Kate (my late wife) use to organise all the cards and gifts etc. I got back to work quickly and didn’t think twice about it. At the end of the day I was wondering why I was feeling sad? Then I figured it out my body and brain was telling me of the previous memories we had as a couple enjoying the happy times. We had shared many good times with my family during those previous anniversaries with my late wife.
By accepting those uncomfortable emotions it stopped me from projecting my sadness onto my sisters happy occasions , they call this emotional intelligence. Of course we don’t always get it on cue especially when we have had a day stacked with lots of emotional juggling at the office or day looking after the children.
We evolve our emotional understanding of our inner workings by discovering what can trigger or nudge our various states. The diversity of temperament, culture and education is the challenge of fruitful interpersonal relationships. By building on self awareness of our inner states and communicating these to others is key to success in our relationships.
As we encounter new challenges with new experiences embrace the feelings with no judgements. It could be a message from our past that hasn’t been resolved or a internal conflict we are not aware of.
A small acorn has the potential to be a mighty oak tree providing many blessings to the creations nearby. When we embrace our emotions and evolve with understanding we can flourish with self awareness.
“Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people”. Jim Rohn