Extract from my book I’m working on from the chapter “The fear of not having enough“
“History repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.”George Bernard Shaw.
Oscar Wilde said “To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.”
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” Henry Ford
life is not a straight road it can take you on many different paths. The twist and turns and the dead ends of expectation will effect today and tomorrow. The flow of our consciousness is surprisingly infinite when all our expectations are being met. Life is full of uncertainty we can not guarantee all the eventualities in our existence let alone someone else reality.
The challenges we face as individuals and collective families then communities and eventually nations? Do we have the resources to survive. Life experiences are not about just survival but to thrive as a individual , as a family and member part of a community and then as a nation where we live.
“Ecosystems underpin all human life and activities. The goods and services they provide are vital to sustaining well-being, and to future economic and social development.” Quoted from the European Commission leaflet which are the basic fundamentals of our existence and enjoyment is dependent on others.
Question to consider in this discussion will help you understand your human basic needs from a professional perspective and one outstanding theory. I am not a trained Psychologist but one day I hope to have the qualifications. I have a passion for human behaviour and the way we think and feel based in neuroscience and psychology. I will use references to highlight the understanding of human basic needs from reputable sources. I have read much about these intrinsic essential ingredients and during my ongoing training as a counselling therapist I have discovered much information. All references end of the section in bibliography, because there is so many overlaps , it flows better omit in this important section until the end.
Abraham Maslow developed the theory of human needs according to rank. Simply explained we start at the foundation of essential needs to the top of the pyramid when we reach our full potential. What are these needs and how does this equate to life in today’s reality.
1 Physiological: We need these to survive which include breathing, eating,water,excretion,sleep,warmth and sex.
Motivation: is important precursor to having these needs met. Naturally our body systems drive us to facilitate these common basic needs.
Today reality: When these needs are met by monetary gains which is translated to employment , benefits and other resources of income we survive biologically. Money has important role in the world we live in to provide food,water and suitable housing.
2 Safety: It is not safe to live in house where there is war, disasters and life threatening perils. That would include safety in the home from individuals with emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Related to the first basic need is a continued flow of resources which will give security in monetary gains and resources.
Motivation: Stability and personal well-being of self and the family unit.
Today reality: Financial stability include present employment or social benefits with future needs being accommodated. This includes insurances, reserves, retirement strategies. Safety and stability of environment includes prevention or eviction or disengage from abusive individuals. That could include home life with family members and the work place.
3 Attachments: Relationships are a fabric of life from family to friends and organisations. There are different categories for relationships which are:1 Friendship 2 Love 3 Platonic 4 Family 5 Professional. Added to the mix we have different types of attachment styles which are 1 Secure 2 Avoidant 3 Anxious 4 Disorganised
Motivation: Accepted unconditionally by others. Support from positive relationship. Dependant-independent. Empathetic and open attachment
Today reality: Communication with positive regard , supportive , affectionate, warm. Inclusion in activities with equal opportunities. Attunement to our needs and wanted by the other relationship. The important question to ask about your relationships :How does it make me feel? What is my impact on the relationships?
4 Esteem: This is from two perspectives 1: Esteem from our perspective 2 Esteem from others of who accept who we are and what we do.
Motivation: Respect,recognition and reputation are important catalyst for own personal value in society. Achievement , skills , confidence , positive and realistic goals.
Today reality: Satisfied from intrinsic value of who we are and what we can accomplish. Appreciated and accepted from others in society includes all relationships.
5 Self actualisation: Reaching our full potential , own perception, own desires, own dreams .Personal growth , focus, flow, motivations are all very individual.
Motivation: Internal drives not external rewards of what we want to do. This is our own unique abilities and resources available. Passion for what we want do and even with sacrifice of perceived benefits from others.
Today reality: Maximising our talents and abilities with resources which give us fulfilment in a activity. In essence it gives meaning to a person life seeking opportunities to engage in the rewarding lifestyle.
Summary : we can not live our life for other people but we do have responsibilities to negotiate. Reach you full potential could be just as simple being a great mother then matriarch in the family. When a friend or family member wants to be an artist rather than a lawyer respect his desires because he want be truly happy.