All for one and one for all

Part 3

D’Artagnan composed himself as he gathered his thoughts together to answer Athos question”What else did you want to do?”
He answered in a positive and optimistic manner saying” Actually I wanted to go to New France because my uncle said there where so many opportunities for a young man like myself. He said he knew many nobles and officials who would give me a promising career as a wealthy entrepreneur. I would often dream of building my own estate with servants and even organising a local cathedral as a young boy during those long summers.”

Porthos leaned forward with a a smile on his face listening to every single breathe from D’Artagnan with excitement. “That sounds heavenly, I can imagine you there with the beautiful coat made of furs going to the splendid cathedral and you help finance and design. Then afterward entertaining your friends and guest with the local officials at your magnificent stately home.

Aramis said” That was a great inspiration and dreams D’Artagnan you had. You really had clear ideas of what you wanted to do when you were a young child. Who stopped you from pursuing the thoughts and ideas,? Was it when you became a man?”

D’Artagnan said in hesitancy “ No….I didn’t think I could ever get to New France especially when my uncle died , who would listen to me. And my father kept on saying it was dangerous and a stupid idea ,I would drown sailing to New France.” Athos intelligently said “ Your uncle and many others sailed to New France. France now has one of the best navy in the world thanks to Cardinal Richelieu. I have heard many positive stories about New France , have you?” D’Artagnan sighed quietly and said” You are right Athos I have heard many good stories about New France….There was a silence as D’Artagnan had a new perspective on his childhood fantasy. Porthos looked at his friend and said “ what are you feeling now?”
“A mixture of anger and regret I think, definitely angry at my father. Actually I feel sad , I could of had it all in New France”… A few tears trickled from his eyes as he understood his fantasies as a child could no longer will happen.

Aramis too had similar dreams as a child and understood the pain of unfulfilled dreams. But Aramis discovered that he could still have his dream as a handsome musketeer. He realised that he just had to slightly change his dreams or thoughts and ideas to a realistic opportunities.

Aramis said “I thank you D’Artagnan for being so brave and honest with us sharing your thoughts and feelings as a true musketeer.”
“it is so difficult with the many disappointments I have encountered recently.” “One disaster after another one, I was wishing it would all go away”.”I would go home feeling sad then drink all night to numb the pain in my heart. What a failure I have been to everyone”

All of the musketeers shared D’Artagnan grief as he cried intensely for a while. They looked at each other with compassion and loyalty with each other’s hearts sensing the warmth and empathy. “ Athos said in a loud convincing voice with unconditional positive regard “ All for one and one for all”.

D’Artagnan put his arms around his good friends and stood up grabbed his sword and said” raise your swords my fellow musketeers”. They all stood up then they all clashed their swords together and said in a valiant outcry”All for one and one for all”.

to be continued

Gratitude makes a difference life

Section from my book What are you afraid of

The final part of this chapter will help us conquer fear and anxiety in life’s journey, we will consider the endearing quality of gratitude. This is such an important foundation in being able meet the challenges of our wellbeing and health concerns. “He who has health has hope and he who has hope has everything “.The Origin of this proverb is probably from an Arabian proverb but was highlighted by a Scottish historian and writer Thomas Carlyle. It has stood the test of time with many reflecting and quoting the sentiments in many different pieces of writings even in our period of history.

There are many studies linking Gratitude to hope and transition to happiness. Investigate the link between these 3 substrates will boost positive health(particularly the emotional, mental perspectives) and wellbeing. Happiness is a concept of what you believe and perceive but more importantly a state or feeling. There are many qualities associated with the idea of happiness, joy , contentment, bliss, with various degrees. Simply put it is your positive wellbeing as an individual with your needs being met. Again this subjective is from our perception what are my needs. A king may believe that he needs servants to be happy. Contrasting that idea, a beggar says he needs money or food to be happy. A great book I encourage you to read that shows what humanity can actually face to exist and be grateful may shift your needs to a realistic goal.(Frankl 2004)

We have discussed the role of hope earlier in this chapter. The meaning of hope is having an optimistic state of mind eagerly in anticipation of something in the future, I call it the energy of life. So how does Gratitude influence this aspect of hope in the real world? What actually is gratitude and how can we develop this amazing alexia of having a positive wellbeing?

Gratitude conveys an action and emotion that goes hand in hand. Related to similar words of appreciation and thankfulness. I’m sure you have had plenty of occasions to be thankful to someone or someone has shown thier appreciation for you. It could be a simple card , a text or an elaborate meal. Sadly today we often forget or appreciate the many wonderful gifts we have had or have. I’m sure there are many reasons why individuals are not thankful. The most important catalyst is for ourselves to be actively grateful so the foundation of our inner self will withstand the difficulties of health concerns.

The brain is Catharsis(appendix) emotional state with the practice of gratitude by several neurotransmitter dopamine and serotonin being active through different areas of the brain. The chemicals enforce stronger pathways in the positive areas of the brain entering reward , learning , memory and emotional systems( many more complicated actions going on) reprogramming the brain by positive experiences by reshaping or not allowing the negative predetermining factors in the brain to settle along neurotransmitter pathways.( : ggsc.berkeley.ed:) has a great podcast to understand gratitude)

From an intrinsic practice of gratitude we rewire the brain to increase our joy from within. There is a lot of evidence of those who practice gratitude during challenging health crises had less pain and discomfort. As I mentioned early in this chapter I was grateful to witness first hand of two amazing positive people. I look back in awe on how they never moaned about thier plights in life despite the health implications.

How can we foster the spirit of gratitude in our life especially when facing health and wellbeing setbacks. Here are a few suggestions to enrich your brain to cope.Practicing gratitude can be a free prescription soften your maladies.( Extreme pain either mental and emotional difficulties I recommend to see your Doctor as you might have biologically deficiencies that can inhibit your natural state.

1 Have a journal and write down three positive things you are grateful for in the morning and then again in the evening. When you do this try and savour the moment feel the emotion. Here example: I am grateful that I can breathe and appreciate I am alive. I am grateful for al those lovely memories I had. I am grateful for that lovely cup of coffee. End of the day example could be , I am grateful for my friends especially the one I called today. I am grateful for the lovely sunshine. I am grateful to sleep in a bed.

2 Speak to someone you love them for just being themselves remark positive characteristic.

3 Observe nature programs and be inspired.

4 Express yourself creatively.

5 Practicing being grateful by positive reframing of difficult circumstance. Example to our confined to a bed or have limited access. Instead of dwelling on being restricted to your environment say instead “ I have this extra time what positive thing can I do with this time. I will enjoy the time to rest and reflect on all the good times I had and will do.”

4 Musketeers

Part two

D’artagnan was waiting in the library of his prestigious friend home in a melancholy mood gazing at the vast array of books. Who has the time to read all these books , what a waste of time D`artagnan thought as he droop his weary soul in the chair. He sighed as he sat down just wanting to be at home all alone way from the excitement of his previous life.

The Three Musketeers walked down the long corridor Chatting away with each other about D’artagnan situation. Porthos Said” we must be very careful with our dear friend.” Aramis Was feeling very upset that his friend wanted to hide away from everyone. Athos Knew exactly what to say to his friend but he wanted to find out all the facts before he had a plan.

When the Three Musketeers entered the library D’artagnan just looked at them with a glazed look. He said “why do you want to see me,I am happy to stay at home all alone where I have a good supply of wine”.

Porthos sat down next to D’artagnan and said” my dear friend, are you happy all alone drinking at home? what about you fighting for your country. Remember we all had many good times together fighting for the king. Also remember the many times we had splendid meals together”. A tear rolled down D’artagnan eye as he struggled to look at his friends with embarrassment.

Athos moved his chair near D’artagnan and Porthos and cleared his throat as a way to announce or to say something important. D’artagnan respected Athos and viewed him as an older brother who taught him the lessons of life. Athos composed himself in orderly manner as he sat down and looked directly at D’artagnan.” Why are you no longer fighting for the king as a special guard and with the musketeers?….” D’artagnan was going to speak but a flood of tears came rolling down his cheeks as he mumbled his words holding back his grief.He stamped his feet in anger “ it’s the cardinal”. At that moment he couldn’t hold his pain in anymore and he cried bitterly for a few moments.

The musketeers didn’t say a word but all looked at thier grieving friend with consolation and compassion on thier faces.

Now Aramis decided to sit down and moved his chair near to the 3 of them. He gave D’artagnan plenty of time to express all his feelings, as his friends watched with compassion in silence. D’artagnan continued in a sobbing quiet voice “ I am useless now , what is my father going to say, I have lost everything.” He sniffled as he tried to compose himself and said to his dear fiends” everything was so great when I became a musketeer fighting with my friends. I was in love with a beautiful lady , I had plenty of money.” There was a short breath then he said “but now I am just a peasant boy from the South of France”. More tears rolled down his face and his body leaned forward looking at the ground with his hands on his head.

Aramis said quietly and slowly to his dear friend” Are you are saying that at one time everything was perfect? But now you have lost everything you ever wanted?” D’artagnan head was still looking down with his hands now placed tightly on his long cloak hanging over his knees. “ Yes it’s all over now.” Aramis replied to his friend” What about your friends have you lost them?” D’artagnan angrily replied “Yes…….. “

There was a long silence in the room and the 3 Musketeers looked at each other while D’artagnan still had his face looking towards the floor. Aramis said in an emphatic tone “ We are your friends and we are here to see D’artagnan the man who is brave who won many battles. You have saved many a good man from the Cardinals conspiracies. Porthos spoke up and said in a positive spirit” I remember the day I met you, I knew that one day you would be grow to be a strong independent wealthy fighter”.

Then Athos gave D’artagnan time to reflect on what was said. Athos paused for a while then said courageously what did your father say when you left home in Lupiac to travel to Paris?”

D’artagnan looked up at all 3 of them and wiped the tears from his eyes and composed himself. “ My father said to me, even when I was a child… You have two choices in this life son, either be a priest or a soldier like your older brothers. My father always said the family name is more important than my childish fantasy”. Aramis looked at him with much interest and said”What were your childish fantasy, I am intrigued please tell me more?”

“I wanted to fight against those Huguenot traitors and abolish thier Devilish society and….. D’artagnan said with conviction as he sat up straight looking as he wanted to pick up his sword and fight there and then. He went on to say” Those bloody pagans they killed my great uncle in La Rochelle who was a Musketeer of the Guard. I loved him so much because he treated me like his own son. During some summers when I was a child he came to stay with the family and he told us so many amazing stories.” Athos listen to every single word and said “ah…. please tell me more” Porthos agreed and said “I am beginning to understand a little more about you now my dear young warrior please continue”. Aramis felt a sense of injustice inside himself as his heart began to beat fast with passion. He understood the pain of losing a close relative but he found consolation in the church as a young child that’s why he wanted to be a priest. Aramis knew D’artagnan had to finish his story and release all his years of emotional turmoil.

D’Artagnan now became alive as he recounted his uncle adventures , you could see him relive those adventures there in his seat. When he finished the story of his uncle travelling to New France he had a smile of a young proud son talking about his favourite hero. Athos then said”you mentioned you wanted to fight against those Huguenot traitors and abolish thier Devilish society and.. what else did you want to?

To be continued



Chapter 5 The fear of emotions yours and mine

Excerpt from my book I’m writing at present called “What are you afraid of”

PHD in communication

The great concept available now is to enhance our vocabulary and our language of emotions is by what they actually mean to us and to others. The ultimate challenge with our emotional histories is to have a PHD in this exciting emotional language with receiving the diploma of emotional intelligence. With this accolade it will enhance the opportunity for success in life with meaningful relationships and greater success. The four semesters of learning this skill covers the topics of self awareness, social awareness, management operations and relationship management.

Communication on a human level is not just what we say ,it also includes what we do in our environment. For example imagine we know a very rich person who has a reputation of a frugal flamboyant business entrepreneur. We build a picture of how the person is going to act before they communicate by our perception of words and ideas. The environment dictates to a measure of how we communicate emotionally with others , popular culture can infuse new habits and attitudes. The emotional environment, includes the historical histories of ourselves that has influence on our emotional exchange mechanism in society.

In many affluent societies people are becoming isolated because of technology, work, family responsibilities and other factors. The irony in advanced civilisation there is more possibilities of connections of communication through technology. The potential connections we can have now with other individuals are superseded to any other civilisations that has lived on this planet. For example we have social media with the various platforms of Facebook ,WhatsApp ,Instagram and Twitter are just a few. People can connect all over the world from the comfort of their own personal world at any time. This is an amazing leap for mankind’s potential worldwide to be as one large tribe which could provide the needs of all the tribe. Good research article about friendship online and offline worth read. It’s says in conclusion”Finally, this study shows that for the quality of the friendship it does not matter how people met their friends, online versus offline, as long as the friendship also migrate to offline settings.”( This statement may evoke you or not but this may be your only medium of friendship you have at this time.There are other ways to embrace friendships and connections with a depth of emotions that words alone can facilitate .Our endearing connections with other like-minded individuals can be achieved at another level.

The emoji living in the fantasy world

The depth and level of communication style has drastically changed in the modern world. The word emoji is two Japanese words “e” picture and “moji” character introduced in 1998.Over a hundred years before emojis, emoticons came on the scene. In 1881 a magazine published four “faces”—conveying joy, melancholy, indifference, and astonishment—and called them “typographical art( In 2015 ”The “Face with Tears of Joy” emoji wins the title of word of the year“—the first time a non-word has won top honors.( Oxford Dictionaries felt the pictograph “best reflected the ethos, mood, and preoccupations of 2015.” ( language of emotions has changed with the concepts of media , culture, education and with new styles.

Today there are many styles in western cultures on the way we communicate with a child, then as a teenager and then finally as an adult. Human society betrays a world of beauty in an unrealistic imaginary fantasy world. Trying to explain modern civilisation to a secret tribe in the Amazon would be strange concepts to some tribes. The television shows ,glossy magazines, Hollywood blockbuster movies and the scripts we hear in the popular culture. Society betrays the ideal perfect image of what a beautiful person should look like and be. They have to be the perfect age, The perfect height, the perfect weight and the perfect look. This barrage of the relentless media with its idealistic propaganda of perfectionism. It has a tremendous effect on everyone subconsciously and consciously.This includes the young and vulnerable and in families.I have seen firsthand the negativity of this betrayal of modern society perception of perfection and high expectations. The concept of what a beautiful woman should look like according to the media has saturated the world that we live in.

Express How you feel by words and art

The authentic inner beauty some individuals are afraid to reveal. They have an inner masterpiece of raw human emotions struggling to express into the wide world. To express how you truly feel can be very difficult and challenging. The fear is rooted of being judged with others mental concepts and ideologies. We all have formed and may of challenged these ideas from childhood experiences . To express how you really feel about yourself can be scary for many reasons. To express your real inner self with no fear of reprisals is what truly beautiful. According to the book “the fear of art”, made a very interesting statement “perfection is a trap”.(Art & Fear) I realised that I am often lurking in that trap for lots of reasons . This is a trap or mindset that I have had regarding my ability is to be a good artist and other activities I’m not perfected or mastered yet. My expectations of trying to reach the great heights like the masters Leonardo da Vinci or William Shakespeare and Mozart are unrealistic but who knows.

I’ve have read a fantastic biography of Leonardo da Vinci (by Walter Issacson) who truly was a very talented man in many aspects of his life. When I mention one of his masterpieces the Mona Lisa which is definitely a piece of art. Did you know that he never finished the Mona Lisa in his mind. Today it is displayed at the Louvre museum in Paris where millions of visitors believe it is a finished masterpiece. Several of his famous paintings, he carried with him when he moved locations because he was never satisfied what he had created on canvas. The Mona Lisa he always wanting to improve some aspects of her in his painting. The Mona Lisa was in his possession after 40 years of starting this original masterpiece when he died. We marvel at this amazing painting but he was still continuously reflecting on how to improve her The end result of his cherished masterpiece is available for the world to see. Many of his works where never completed because of his relentless high expectations and of other distractions in his life. This aspect of his mindset was ultimately fantastic because he was always seeking greater understanding and how he could deliver some iconic work. He was extraordinary in his pursuit on how to achieve his best was due to his continued learning skills and exploration.None of us are born with amazing talents as babies we develop these gifts and attributes by applying the things we have learned with the aptitude to learn and improve.

Who loves exams

I had an exam yesterday and yes I passed thankfully so I can move onto the next level. I finished early so I had time to kill and wrote this during my exam. I know examinations are important to correlate a person aptitude and competence to benefit themselves and others. The problem I find with these situations is we all perform at different rates at different times.

The 3 Musketeers

Part one
The story of the 3 Musketeers were in fact 4 Musketeers. It was written as a novel published in French as Les Trois Mousquetaires in 1844. The author wrote many stories of these young dashing swords man in thier pursuit of helping the unfortunate. I will use these 4 main characters as analogy in describing counselling theory to understand some of the principle ideas. With these ideas it might inform you on some thinking and behaviour patterns we notice. Or it may be helpful to understand others internal thinking leads to behaviours. The main characters are

D’ARTAGNAN (client) His personality type he is constantly trying to prove himself to show the world his bravery with his impulsive, hotheaded,  and inexperienced adventures.

1 ATHOS (Gestalt theory) intelligent, courageous; precise in his sword fighting.

2 PORTHOS (Person Centred theory) Humorous, vain, slave to fashion, good-hearted; comical and self confident.

3 ARAMIS (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy CBT) Romantic, handsome, hot tempered, studying to be a priest and very emotional.

Athos , Porthos and Aramis have had extensive training on thier inner conflicts and developed thier key strengths and strategies as a weapons of intrinsic methods of theory to help others to fight against their internal conflicts.

D’Artagnan has caused many problems to the rest of the Musketeers and now he realises he needs to explore why he is having these difficulties.He always wants to be the romantic hero, he is driven by love and ruled by the need to please others. His behaviour leads to many problems of increasing penalties of fines, dinking too much wine and melancholy moods.

His 3 friends decide to speak to him after his sudden departure from the Musketeers troop. They have heard he is sleeping all day after he has lost his position of a kings guard. Added to sullen atmosphere he can’t soothe his afflictions with the affection of lady Constance Bonacieux who decided to stop thier secret rendezvous of passions.

Aramis has a strategy that might help his dear contemporary because he tried it on himself and it worked. Aramis was always unpredictable from one day to the next. Some days he was angry all day long and everyone had to tip toe around him because he has been know to kill a few individuals who pushed him too far, thankfully it was always the villains and he got away with it. On other days he was besotted by a young maidens and he couldn’t kill even a fly at those times. Aramis learnt and discovered one day he was angry all day then his mood started to change. He knew he was going see his sweetheart in the brewery in the evening and his mood shifted more and more and by the time he met his lover in the evening he was soft as a lamb. He made a system called the A B C = Activating event or trigger that Lead to B = beliefs or thoughts that lead to C = Consequences the emotions and actions. Aramis had an idea, he thought if I can get D’Artagnan to talk to us we can devise a plan together.

Porthos had this wonderful skill, he could talk and listen to anyone. He trusted people from the very rich to the very poor. He was never afraid to be himself trying to look his best at all times and laughing at the mistakes he made. Porthos could understand people pain regardless if they were a peasant or belonged to the royal court a true gentleman to the people. His greatest skill ,he always made individuals feel safe and encouraged them to follow thier dreams.

Athos was very intelligent he knew all the questions to ask about finding the missing puzzle to solve the mystery. He was also very courageous because some of the questions he asked the people made them feel uneasy and sometimes made them sad or angry. There was this one occasion when he went into the royal court to speak to the young Prince. The Prince was drinking all the time during that period of his life. The Prince had changed from a charming Prince to an insensible fool. Athos walked into to speak to him that morning and saw the Prince drinking by himself and Athos said “ I know why you are drinking all the time?” Prince replied angrily “ what is it then?” Athos said rather emphatically “ you are in pain and believe you should be strong like your father and hold your feelings in” The prince ran off crying uncontrollably.

The 3 Musketeers arranged to see their friend D’Artagnan later that week at 3 pm on Thursday at his good friends home who lived near D’Artagnan home. His friend lived in a large stately home and he had a large private room were the 4 of them can talk in private with no disturbances.

To be continued…..

References below


Emotional Burnout

Anyone can suffer from emotional burnout at any time and frequency.
What is emotional burnout? We are talking emotional as the main ingredient but there are many companions that join the ride. Each individual may have a combination of symptoms at different phases and intensity a lot depends on your own personal characteristics and temperament.

Emotions are very difficult to translate into words because feelings are very individual and complexities of situations. Emotions are the messengers talking to the body telling us that something is happening. Our inner voice of combination of past experiences and perceived realities. The worst thing you can say to someone at any time especially if you suspect they are suffering from burnout “I know how you feel?”.

On my website there is a section devoted to emotional intelligence. The difficulty I found out ,when I was experiencing burnout I was not really knowing what was going on. My symptoms were a total disengagement from the world outside my home that included my family, friends and faith. I felt that no one understood my world , I felt I was living on a lonely island. My brain had no more juice left for any connections outside my home. Through the Pandemic my emotional brain eventually said no more love or emotion to give I’m dry and hit rock bottom of my emotional reservoir.

Emotional burnout I will call Judgment bias, what does that means? My brain could no longer think critically or rationally. In an ideal or stable mindset the brain operates in dual function with both our emotional brain and rational brain in succinct marriage. If one system is off balance for example we will never integrated our emotions we would function as robots. Conversely we would never make reasonable decisions if we are governed by just the emotional response.

Back to my recent experience when I was emotional spent out I wanted to fix the pain I was suffering. If you didn’t know, my wife died of cancer 3 years ago leaving me as a single parent. I was thinking the emotional bankruptcy is a result of no emotional support from my late wife let’s get a new wife my brain was saying to minimise the pain. In essence that was just a distraction not the solution to my emotional burnout. This is a common strategy for a lot of us in our subconscious mind the brain try’s to fix the problem. I found out the reality is you can’t fix emotional pain by patching it up temporarily.

In my training and reading many articles on psychology helped me realise it’s how we think is the problem. One great website I found exploring and explaining suffering a guy said in one section that knocked me back “ how we’re going to deal with suffering, and that’s a problem for every one of us, regardless of what we do or do not believe about God.” No one else could of said that to me but it made me stand up and think moaning about this for rest of life is not going change a thing. On this point most people as in human nature is to rescue individuals in emotional distress and try to fix it. The realty with my emotional burnout the only way you could fix me then was going bring my wife back to life and that’s not going to happen.

On a practical side many agencies use CBT which is cognitive behaviour therapy. Basically what the therapist would do to encourage you is to change your thoughts then that would change your feelings then that would change your behaviour. That sounds too simple or too idealist but it’s a great start. I tied this on Monday it was my anniversary of my late wife and me if she was alive, we would of been married for 24 years. This year I decided to to make it a good day focusing on positive thoughts. It is too easy to get stuck in a cascade of negative emotions and before you know it it ruins your day. Guess what I had a good day on Monday and yes I noticed a sad thought but acknowledged it then focused on something positive.

In conclusion there is no shame in having emotional burnout it’s a part of life. Have empathy for those individuals that have lost loved ones because the emotional support is often not there that includes the young to the elderly. If you know someone make no judgements just have a listening ear and don’t try to fix their emotional state. Seek professional help with your doctor or a trained therapist. Remember emotional burnout is a judgment bias because we are not thinking correctly at that time. Finally change your routine change your emotional state and change your perspective because we are all only human.

Seven approaches to the challenge of suffering

Optimum learning colour

What is your favourite colour? How does that colour make you feel?
My favourite colour is red especially when a beautiful person is wearing it. According to one website they define red characteristics Energetic and Exciting, Powerful, Passionate and Bold. Believe it or not that reveals a lot about my personality. My second favourite colour is blue and according to another website suggest what colour to wear at the office. They say the colour blue represents truth and wisdom. The website claims also that the colour blue has a calming effect and is linked to intellect. It’s also the most stable color. Another coincidence a major part of my personality is a very chilled person and I’m very honest and love intellectual stimulation.

Some research has discovered a small effect of coloured light on heart rate and blood pressure: red light does seem to raise heart rate, while blue light lowers it. I’m sure you can agree the overwhelming effect has most individuals that sunshine has on a person mood. According to Forbes”The sun works through a number of receptors in the brain to affect our mental status and alertness,” the article goes on to mention “Moderate sunlight exposure helps improve your mood and focus by boosting serotonin levels in your body. Also known as the ‘happiness hormone’, it makes you calm and alert. Also, “sunlight decreases the risk of depression in those at risk of seasonal affective”.

A great website tackled this subject answered the question by saying “combination of orange, yellow combined with accents of red seems to be the best combination to improve your study efforts.”

Another source mentioned the emotional state effected in remembering the information. What emotion do you associate the colour Black with? I’m sure agree with the feeling of sadness, depression, fear, and anger. They mentioned in the research article that contrast of colours has impacted on the memory system and recall.

According to a study by the California Energy Commission, classrooms that receive a high level of daylight offer students a 20% better learning rate in maths and 26% in reading, compared with classrooms that received little natural light.

There’s a great website that defines colour for different age groups for children in thier learning experiences. Another factor to consider what type of learning will the room facilitate. From creativity to productivity from professional to public learning spaces. I thought this would be a simple choice but just through my short investigation there is many options. Finally the optimum choice of colour for learning is down to personal preferences.
Your history and experiences with colour during your life will have a subconscious effect on your learning.

“Why do two colors, put one next to the other, sing? Can one really explain this? no. Just as one can never learn how to paint.” Pablo Picasso

What is the Best Color for Studying?


Optimum learning mood

During my daily walking , a way to exercise while listening to an audio book. I call this activity learn and burn a great way exercise the mind and the body the same time. A statement jumped out and hit my mind by the author as I walking happily along in my own little world. I thought:I must do some research on this topic and then post the idea.

The book I am listening to is called “Thinking , Fast and slow by Daniel Kahneman a winner of the Nobel prize October 2002. The idea basically came from one sentence in essence it is “ when you smile your learning improves with your memory”. I thought that is pretty obvious to me but what is the science and comments on that concept.

Implications could be useful for industry, teachers , students and even families teaching thier children. If you create a happy environment and make the learning experience joyful time it’s a win win for everyone.

In 2009 Technische University in Munich they demonstrated conclusively that the brain’s happiness circuitry is activated when you smile. In another study provides evidence that our own smile provides support to the phrase ‘if you smile, the world will smile back to you’.

When we smile, your brain releases chemicals in the brain. Some of these neurotransmitters are dopamine, serotonin and endorphins. One reference suggests that smiling can help us recover faster from stress. There’s been some evidence that forcing a smile can still bring you a boost in your mood and happiness level.

Studies have shown a decreased activity in processing memory in the brain during stress. This effects the brain activity to connect new information with previous knowledge associated with the topic already stored in the brain.

Summary: Creating a happy environment our mood will facilitate an easier learning experience. Next time you have an exam or test or want your children to remember make it a happy experience.

Breathe or not to breathe?

How long can you hold your breath for?

According to the Guinness world records”The longest time breath held voluntarily (male) is 24 min 3.45 secs and was achieved by Aleix Segura Vendrell (Spain), in Barcelona, Spain, on 28 February “

There are many different practices related to breathing from yoga, mindfulness,meditation,exercise and dancing.

Some breathing techniques act improving the psychological flexibility in a series of mutual interactions even the emotional and psychological states.

The brain remembers information to helps us to assess situations quickly and anticipate how our bodies will act. These patterns are learned throughout our life. These learned ideas can materially alter the way we breathe. The theory is termed the ‘Bayesian brain hypothesis.

Trauma will effect your breathing to a fight or flight response. Experts call this PTSD that leaves the body in a state of shock or the body is fully on. Or your body may choose to regulate its resources into a recessive state . The poly vagal Theory explains this protective mechanisms in great detail and therapist can use breathing techniques to regulate your emotional and physiological states.

Benefit of nasal breathing compared to mouth breathing are many. Increase up 20 % of oxygen by nasal breathing which will reduce activity of the heart pumping oxygen around the body. By breathing through your nose it defends and supports your immune system. Aerobic Exercise and Performance is increased by nasal breathing.

To maximise your performance in any physical activity professional athletes use breathing techniques to enhance their game.

Breathing help fight against diseases and rejuvenate the body. Start the day with morning exercises, that is, immediately after sleep. Benefits will cleanse your body of toxins built up during the night, it will improve blood circulation, body shape improve.


The Poly vagal theory in therapy Debs Dana 2018

Do you have enough?

Extract from my book I’m working on from the chapter “The fear of not having enough“

“History repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.”George Bernard Shaw.

Oscar Wilde said “To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.”

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” Henry Ford

life is not a straight road it can take you on many different paths. The twist and turns and the dead ends of expectation will effect today and tomorrow. The flow of our consciousness is surprisingly infinite when all our expectations are being met. Life is full of uncertainty we can not guarantee all the eventualities in our existence let alone someone else reality.

The challenges we face as individuals and collective families then communities and eventually nations? Do we have the resources to survive. Life experiences are not about just survival but to thrive as a individual , as a family and member part of a community and then as a nation where we live.

“Ecosystems underpin all human life and activities. The goods and services they provide are vital to sustaining well-being, and to future economic and social development.” Quoted from the European Commission leaflet which are the basic fundamentals of our existence and enjoyment is dependent on others.

Question to consider in this discussion will help you understand your human basic needs from a professional perspective and one outstanding theory. I am not a trained Psychologist but one day I hope to have the qualifications. I have a passion for human behaviour and the way we think and feel based in neuroscience and psychology. I will use references to highlight the understanding of human basic needs from reputable sources. I have read much about these intrinsic essential ingredients and during my ongoing training as a counselling therapist I have discovered much information. All references end of the section in bibliography, because there is so many overlaps , it flows better omit in this important section until the end.

Human needs

Abraham Maslow developed the theory of human needs according to rank. Simply explained we start at the foundation of essential needs to the top of the pyramid when we reach our full potential. What are these needs and how does this equate to life in today’s reality.

1 Physiological: We need these to survive which include breathing, eating,water,excretion,sleep,warmth and sex.

Motivation: is important precursor to having these needs met. Naturally our body systems drive us to facilitate these common basic needs.

Today reality: When these needs are met by monetary gains which is translated to employment , benefits and other resources of income we survive biologically. Money has important role in the world we live in to provide food,water and suitable housing.

2 Safety: It is not safe to live in house where there is war, disasters and life threatening perils. That would include safety in the home from individuals with emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Related to the first basic need is a continued flow of resources which will give security in monetary gains and resources.

Motivation: Stability and personal well-being of self and the family unit.

Today reality: Financial stability include present employment or social benefits with future needs being accommodated. This includes insurances, reserves, retirement strategies. Safety and stability of environment includes prevention or eviction or disengage from abusive individuals. That could include home life with family members and the work place.

3 Attachments: Relationships are a fabric of life from family to friends and organisations. There are different categories for relationships which are:1 Friendship 2 Love 3 Platonic 4 Family 5 Professional. Added to the mix we have different types of attachment styles which are 1 Secure 2 Avoidant 3 Anxious 4 Disorganised

Motivation: Accepted unconditionally by others. Support from positive relationship. Dependant-independent. Empathetic and open attachment

Today reality: Communication with positive regard , supportive , affectionate, warm. Inclusion in activities with equal opportunities. Attunement to our needs and wanted by the other relationship. The important question to ask about your relationships :How does it make me feel? What is my impact on the relationships?

4 Esteem: This is from two perspectives 1: Esteem from our perspective 2 Esteem from others of who accept who we are and what we do.

Motivation: Respect,recognition and reputation are important catalyst for own personal value in society. Achievement , skills , confidence , positive and realistic goals.

Today reality: Satisfied from intrinsic value of who we are and what we can accomplish. Appreciated and accepted from others in society includes all relationships.

5 Self actualisation: Reaching our full potential , own perception, own desires, own dreams .Personal growth , focus, flow, motivations are all very individual.

Motivation: Internal drives not external rewards of what we want to do. This is our own unique abilities and resources available. Passion for what we want do and even with sacrifice of perceived benefits from others.

Today reality: Maximising our talents and abilities with resources which give us fulfilment in a activity. In essence it gives meaning to a person life seeking opportunities to engage in the rewarding lifestyle.

Summary : we can not live our life for other people but we do have responsibilities to negotiate. Reach you full potential could be just as simple being a great mother then matriarch in the family. When a friend or family member wants to be an artist rather than a lawyer respect his desires because he want be truly happy.